Can I Save My Marriage?
July 31st, 2009
Anyone who has gone through the pain and agony of a divorce knows how damaging it can be to the soul. Even people who have not done so know this – especially those who are teetering on the edge of ending their marriage. If you are one of these people, you have more than likely found yourself overwhelmed and frustrated, asking, “Can I save my marriage?”
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Would you believe the answer is yes?
I do not believe that lost causes happen very often. Sure, there is always a time to give up and move on to something more productive. But there is always a very long road to travel before that time comes. This is true for marriage. Marriage is a sacred union between two people who are supposed to live together as one. With this kind of expectation, there is bound to be conflict and strife. No marriage exists without it. Yet, marriages can and do work – it just takes effort, dedication, and commitment. So, if you ask yourself “Can I save my marriage”, then you have to first believe that “Yes” is the only answer.
The first step in the resolution of any marital problem is to figure out exactly what went wrong. What are the issues dividing you two? What is the Big Deal that is separating your love from each other? You have to take the biggest obstacles and knock them out – but before you can take action, you have a plan. And you cannot have a plan unless you get to the root of the problem at the beginning.
If you accomplish this, then you are one step closer to saving your marriage.
After you determine what the problems are, you have to dedicate yourselves to resolving the problem. Too many people in the world get divorced because they lose faith in the ability of the relationship to survive and endure. It seems so looming, so daunting, that no possible amount of effort could make a difference. Thus, they ask, “Can I save my marriage?” and have doubt in their hearts. Avoid this by making a firm and definite commitment to getting through the worst of it.
Now that you have a basic idea of what is wrong, and have obligated yourselves to seeing it through, you have to fine-tune your plan and come up with practical, concrete solutions. For example, if your partner’s refusal to do chores is a sticking point, ask him or her why this is. Then, come up with a fair division of labor for the house. It is possible that he or she feels like they weren’t consulted when chores were divided up, and all they want and need is the chance to be heard. If this is the problem, then it is easily resolved.
Not all problems that make you ask “Can I save my marriage?” can be resolved that easily, but they can be resolved. There is nothing that can’t be fixed, or corrected, or made better through diligence, perseverance, and love. “Can I save my marriage?”
Absolutely! All you need to do is follow this plan and remain true to what you want your marriage to be. The rest will follow.
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