Archive for the ‘Save Marriage’ Category
How to Save My Marriage
August 3rd, 2009
Do you often lie awake at night, thinking “I want to know how to save my marriage”? Does the thought of divorce make you sick to your stomach? If so, then this is completely natural. It is understandable that people in a failing marriage will want to fix the problem, because marriage is intended to be for life, not just a temporary arrangement. If you are asking, “Will you tell me how to save my marriage?”, then the answer is a definite yes. This article will give you a few tools to use with your partner that will actually help you two begin the long yet worthy path to reconciliation.
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Every marriage that fails does so because of one reason: The two people in the marriage no longer have ways of coping with life together. There will be obstacles and problems thrown your way, and hardships you must endure. This is a given. It is how you handle these and cope with life that determines whether or not your relationship will be a success. A marriage fails when people start running out of ways to cope, or starts losing their commitment to coping. This can be remedied, though.
Those who ask “I need to know how to save my marriage” are really looking for methods and mechanisms for handling disputes. After all, if you can successfully address a problem as it arises, then your marriage will continue and even thrive, and eventually the problems will decline in frequency until you two get along great. The first step to learning to cope is to address your partner’s concerns. To do this, you have to intently listen. I suggest making notes of their objections with you and your behavior. Get him or her to do the same. Then, sincerely address their concerns truthfully, but with a sense of understanding. After all, no one is blameless in a failing relationship.
The second step whenever a problem comes up is to figure out practical solutions to fix it. You are not looking for a temporary repair, though, but a permanent solution to ensure that this situation does not happen again. One tried and true method of doing this is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Ask yourself, “I want to know how to save my marriage; what would my partner say?” Come up with an action plan that consists of the specific action, a definite time line (if applicable), and ways you can check up on your progress.
For example, if one problem is that you two do not spend enough time together, then you could possibly say something like, “My partner does not like it when I come home from work and do not make an effort to see him or her”. Thus, the solution could be “This is how to save my marriage: I will give my spouse a hug and a kiss and talk to him or her for at least five minutes as soon as I get home, before I do anything else. And I will record this progress in a journal.”
Combining those two steps into a process will go a long way to make your marriage stronger. So, be strong and dive right into it. Your marriage is that important.
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Avoiding A Relationship Break Up
August 3rd, 2009
If you are reading this article, then I would guess that you are having relationship problems. I would also guess that you want desperately to avoid a relationship break up – and are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. If so, I congratulate you. It is easy to face the prospect of a relationship break up and think that it’s too difficult, or there’s too much work involved, or that it is too scary to attempt. The truth of the matter it this: Avoiding a break up is not as impossible as people may think!
To prove this point, think of a goal that you have had. Let’s say, for example, that you love to play soccer. You want to be the best, so you train extensively. You know that it will be tough; training is physically and mentally exhausting. But yet you do it anyway. Why? Because you recognize that there is something out there you want, and you’ll do anything to make it happen. That is called determination, and that is the first part of avoiding a relationship break up.
But, just being determined is not enough. You have to have a plan of attack. Ask yourself these questions:
What does your partner think about all of these questions?
The answers to these questions will really and truly help you figure out a plan of action. If you know what you think the problems are, and you know what your partner thinks, then you can get together and figure out exactly what went wrong. Maybe he or she is jealous of other people. Maybe he or she cannot trust you because you have been dishonest. Maybe he or she spends more time with his or her friends than with you. No matter what the reason may be, you can identify it and come up with a solution.
So, with determination and a plan, what is next? One word: Support. It is incredibly difficult to completely avoid a relationship break up alone, or even as a couple. You almost always have to have outside support and help to do it. Think of it this way: If you think you two can do it alone, then don’t you think that means you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place? Because after all, that means you would have excellent problem-solving skills and conflict resolution abilities – which you do not.
That is okay, though. Those skills can be taught by trained professionals who excel in dealing with broken relationships. Seeing a therapist or a counselor together can help to avoid a relationship break up by giving you the tools you’ll need to survive and thrive – and understand each other better in the process. Seek out the help, take into account the advice given here, and you and your partner will be on your way to rescuing your relationship from the brink – and having a great companionship along the way.
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Four Proven Ways To Save A Marriage
August 3rd, 2009
Are you currently in a marriage that is going south? Does this stress you out because you do not want this to happen? If so, then you are not alone. Millions of People every day have to struggle with relationship problems with their spouse. It can be due to infidelity, or financial stress, or a million other problems and issues and hardships that have sprung up over the years, but whatever the reason, marriage is in trouble. If you are reading this, then I am guessing that you want ways to save a marriage, right? If the answer is yes, then you have made a great choice.
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In this article, I will give you four tried and true ways to save a marriage that have helped countless people like you with their failing relationships.
1. Identify the Problems
The first of the four ways to save a marriage starts off the process of reconciliation by identifying what is wrong with your relationship. If you do not know the problems that are causing this trouble, and are making you two resentful towards each other, then you can’t possibly be expected to fix a solution. You have to identify all of the issues that come up and try and organize them. Do not point fingers; instead, be willing to accept responsibility calmly so the meeting does not devolve into a shouting match. You should also rank them by importance or priority so you know what the main issues are.
2. Hear Each Other Out
Once you have identified the problems, take the major concerns and talk about them. But this time, do not interrupt your partner until they are finished. When they are finished, use active listening and tell them what you heard them say. This way, you two can clear up any confusion before you talk more about the issue. Make sure your partner does the same for you. This gives both of you a chance to have your voice heard, and clear the air and bad blood that is between you two.
3. Brainstorm Solutions
After figuring out what went wrong, and listening to each other’s feelings, now you can start coming up with solutions. Be specific; vague, general solutions are pretty useless. Try and cooperate and agree on ideas that could really work. The best source for what could work? Your partner. If you have done something to hurt him or her, he or she will have the best perspective on what you can do to stop it.
4. Act on Your Words
Finally, the last of the ways to save a marriage is to act on what you say. If you come up with a plan, you have the responsibility of carrying it out. Stay committed, remind yourself of it on a daily basis, and keep your partner accountable. If you two are committed, then it can work.
There is nothing particularly surprising about these ways to save a marriage; they are the cornerstones to any solid problem-solving process. And that is what a failing marriage is – a problem that needs to be solved. Follow these steps with an open and earnest heart and you can find yourself reunited in joy with your spouse.
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