Four Things That Should Never Be Said In A Marriage – Ever
September 10th, 2008
Marriage is a serious test for most people. After some months of living together, it starts to get old and the partners don’t see a need any more to only show their best side. Day to day life in a marriage will produce problems – in every marriage. The difference between a good marriage and a not so good one, is how the partners talk to each other.
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Here are the 4 worst things you can say to your partner, that will get him/her tick off for sure:
1. Both of you are arguing and your spouse starts to heat up in the discussion. You are tempted to say: “Just cool/calm down”. That is the worst thing you can say in that situation. Your spouse will think ‘who the hell is telling me to calm down’ and he/she will have all the more reason to get in rage and ramble on. Its a psychological fact that most people don’t like remarks like this. It is like you are telling them that they are wrong.
2. Your spouse is often throwing stuff beside the trash can in the garden with the intent to put it inside later. When you get outside you see it and put it away. Your first reaction to tell your spouse is that he/she ‘never’ puts it away. Don’t say “You never…” It will put your spouse in a defensive mode. Most likely the first thing that enters their mind are the occasions where they actually put it away. It is very counterproductive to say “you never”.
3. Never insult your spouse with name calling. When you were children this was maybe appropriate, but as grown ups it hurts a lot to be called names like “you jerk” or “you bitch”
4. In the early days of your relationship both of you were probably slim good looking people and maybe over the years one or both of you have become a little heavier and of course you are older now. Never tell your spouse that he/she is fat, looks old or stuff like that. Chances are very high that they have noticed themselves and they probably don’t like it very much either.
These are the four biggest no-no’s in a relationship.
The longer your relationship lasts – if you pay attention, you will find out what the words are that your partner doesn’t cope very well with and if you are a good spouse and want to have a long lasting and happy marriage you should note them to yourself and avoid to say them in the future.
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