How to Save My Marriage
August 3rd, 2009
Do you often lie awake at night, thinking “I want to know how to save my marriage”? Does the thought of divorce make you sick to your stomach? If so, then this is completely natural. It is understandable that people in a failing marriage will want to fix the problem, because marriage is intended to be for life, not just a temporary arrangement. If you are asking, “Will you tell me how to save my marriage?”, then the answer is a definite yes. This article will give you a few tools to use with your partner that will actually help you two begin the long yet worthy path to reconciliation.
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Every marriage that fails does so because of one reason: The two people in the marriage no longer have ways of coping with life together. There will be obstacles and problems thrown your way, and hardships you must endure. This is a given. It is how you handle these and cope with life that determines whether or not your relationship will be a success. A marriage fails when people start running out of ways to cope, or starts losing their commitment to coping. This can be remedied, though.
Those who ask “I need to know how to save my marriage” are really looking for methods and mechanisms for handling disputes. After all, if you can successfully address a problem as it arises, then your marriage will continue and even thrive, and eventually the problems will decline in frequency until you two get along great. The first step to learning to cope is to address your partner’s concerns. To do this, you have to intently listen. I suggest making notes of their objections with you and your behavior. Get him or her to do the same. Then, sincerely address their concerns truthfully, but with a sense of understanding. After all, no one is blameless in a failing relationship.
The second step whenever a problem comes up is to figure out practical solutions to fix it. You are not looking for a temporary repair, though, but a permanent solution to ensure that this situation does not happen again. One tried and true method of doing this is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Ask yourself, “I want to know how to save my marriage; what would my partner say?” Come up with an action plan that consists of the specific action, a definite time line (if applicable), and ways you can check up on your progress.
For example, if one problem is that you two do not spend enough time together, then you could possibly say something like, “My partner does not like it when I come home from work and do not make an effort to see him or her”. Thus, the solution could be “This is how to save my marriage: I will give my spouse a hug and a kiss and talk to him or her for at least five minutes as soon as I get home, before I do anything else. And I will record this progress in a journal.”
Combining those two steps into a process will go a long way to make your marriage stronger. So, be strong and dive right into it. Your marriage is that important.
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Posted in Save Marriage
