Is There A Way To Save Your Marriage Alone?
September 7th, 2008
Are you in a marriage that is quickly fading away? Is your relationship with your partner crumbling before your eyes? If so, then you are in good company. Over 50% of marriages in this country end in divorce, a sad and troubling statistic that speaks to the difficulties that plague relationships in this day and age. Be it financial concerns, work, other people, children, or other stresses, there are many things that can dissolve a bond and send both people on their separate ways. What is worse is when you genuinely want to repair a relationship, but your partner does not seem to be pulling his or her weight – or even be interested in getting help at all. What do you do in this situation?
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If you are in this dilemma, then you may need to try and save your marriage alone. This can be a daunting task, and it is always better to have two partners invested in the process. However, you have to do what you can. This article will give you guidance on how to save your marriage alone.
Recognize Your Failings
The first thing you have to do to save your marriage alone is to recognize where you went wrong. For the time being, put whatever your partner did or didn’t do out of your mind and focus on yourself. Did you do something wrong? Did you cheat on your partner, or say hurtful things, or repeatedly do something to annoy, frustrate, anger, or offend him or her? If so, then you need to correct what you did before you seek to correct what he or she did. No one is ever 100% to blame for a failing marriage, but you have to own up to your part – no matter how big or small – and recognize what you may have done to add to the marriage’s problems.
Make Resolutions
You then have to decide one thing: Are you committed to this relationship? It may seem like you are, by the fact that you are reading this article, but you have to genuinely and honestly ask yourself that question until you are comfortable with the answer. Once you decide you are committed, make a resolution to yourself. Write it down. It can be a paragraph, or can be a simple statement like “I will save this marriage”. Whatever it is, make sure you can access it and remind yourself of your dedication to fixing these problems.
Realize It Is Not All You
Even if you want to save your marriage alone, you have to realize that your partner will have to be involved at some point. If he or she won’t seek counseling, or won’t be active participants, then it will pose a burden on you. But, all you can do is make the best decisions possible to make the marriage happy. Actively listen to your partner. Try and figure out what he or she thinks about your common problems. See what you can do to make the environment more conducive to a healthy relationship. If there is any love there at all between you two, then sooner or later your partner will come around.
To save your marriage alone is to sacrifice yourself. You are trying to do something very difficult without any real help. Do not worry about failure, though; just know that if you do all you can do yourself, and your partner does nothing, then you are not to blame for what happens.
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