Save This Marriage – Four Things That Will Get You Started
August 13th, 2009
Are you struggling with your marriage? Have you had marital problems that cannot be ignored or easily dismissed like in the past? Are your at your wit’s end about what to do? If so, then you probably are desperate for someone to save this marriage and make it work. If you married your partner, there was obviously love there at some point. Most people do not enter into matrimony for no reason at all, so there were great bonds and connections between you two that are worth keeping. This article will give you resources you can use to get help and save this marriage.
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Marriage Counseling
The best way to salvage any ruined relationship is through professional counseling. Many people do not follow up on this, though, because there is a negative perception out there about counseling. Counseling, no matter what you may have heard, is not for the weak. You are not ‘crazy’ if you go seek professional help – you just need help! Bringing your partner into a meeting with a trained therapist will help you two sort through your problems through neutral, middle-ground communication. This way, your discussions do not degenerate into shouting matches – which help no one. If you have not visited a licensed and qualified marriage counselor, then I recommend you do that as soon as possible.
Journals
If you do not currently keep a journal, it would be a good idea to start. Devote this journal to your marriage, your daily interactions between you and your spouse, and your inner thoughts and feelings. Write as much down as you possibly can. This introspection is a great way to accomplish two things: monitoring your own thoughts; and coming up with material for your counseling. This is not, though, intended to criticize or attack your spouse. Rather, this is a way for you to vent what you feel and try and figure out your emotions in a calm, methodical manner.
Self-Help Books
Your local bookstore will more than likely be completely filled with self-help books written by experts who want to help you save this marriage. While not all books are created equal (and some are written by kooks), there are a multitude of quality instructional guides out there that will not only offer solutions, but will motivate you and your partner. Let’s face it: a problem of this magnitude virtually requires professional intervention. This is the same reason why you should pursue counseling, like we discussed above. Plus, many of these books and guides have exercises you and your partner can do to improve communication, build trust, and air out issues that may have been smoldering for some time.
A Mutual Friend
Lastly, one of the best resources you can use to save this marriage is to bring a mutual friend into the fray. Now, this is not so you two can try and make your friend choose sides. It is to bring in a neutral party that has close relations to you both as a mediator. What’s more is that this person can be a friend to the relationship as a whole, not just either of you as individuals. A good mutual friend will help you two communicate on a more personal level, so do not take this resource for granted.
If you want to save this marriage (and I assume you do), then the first step is to utilize your resources. Knowing who can help and what help they offer is wonderful and can truly assist you as you navigate through these rough waters.
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